


It takes a Village (To not suck at Heisting)

by EvenSpeedWeedisAfraid



Series: Irkalla Chatfic Shenanigans [4]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series), Heat (1995), Hiveswap, Reservoir Dogs (1992), Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, Explicit Language, Gen, Humor, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, chatfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 13:40:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20154505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvenSpeedWeedisAfraid/pseuds/EvenSpeedWeedisAfraid
Summary: BuscemiBoi: Hey hey, wait a second there big guy, I remember a Vic coming by for my...servicesrecently. Would that be you, per chance?Stuck in the Middle: Shit, maybe? Wouldyouhappen to be a spider?BuscemiBoi: Yyyyep! Well, I don't usually spend time with my johns after work, but shit, guess I'll have to make an exception!Round the Corner: So much for "nothing too personal".----You know the deal by now. Neil sets up his heisting crew, and it goes about as well as you'd expect from a chatfic.





	It takes a Village (To not suck at Heisting)

**Author's Note:**

> Names, as usual:  
Neil - Round the Corner   
Jasper - HomeworldStrong  
Mallek - snakeBytes  
Mr. Blonde - Stuck in the Middle  
Angel Dust - BuscemiBoi

**Round the Corner** has added **HomeworldStrong**, **snakeBytes**, **BuscemiBoi** and **Stuck in the Middle** to server **"First World Bank"**.

**Round the Corner**: Alright guys, if we're going to get this heist working properly, we should get mildly familiar with each other. So let's have a roll call to start it off.  
**Round the Corner**: Your names first, and something interesting about yourself. But nothing too personal. For example, I'm Neil McCauley, and I enjoy a nice cup of coffee.  
**HomeworldStrong**: Hmph. I'm Jasper. I _hate_ losing. Especially to Fusions.  
**snakeBytes**: don't think there's any of that here; i'm mallek, and i'm an information specialist; pretty sure neil brought me on here because of that;  
**BuscemiBoi**: Yeah yeah, that's all nice and good sweet cheeks, but it's my turn now. Ahem, I'm Angel Dust, Hell's premier adult film star/gangster. Also, I might have a drug problem, but it's only a problem if I don't _get_ 'em.  
**Stuck in the Middle**: Well, ain't you all a bunch of charming fellas. I'm Vic, you can call me Mr. Blonde if ya want. Currently enjoying a burger and some soda. Big Kahuna, if you're wondering.  
**BuscemiBoi**: Hey hey, wait a second there big guy, I remember a Vic coming by for my... _services_ recently. Would that be you, per chance?  
**Stuck in the Middle**: Shit, maybe? Would _you_ happen to be a spider?  
**BuscemiBoi**: Yyyyep! Well, I don't usually spend time with my johns after work, but shit, guess I'll have to make an exception!  
**Round the Corner**: So much for "nothing too personal".

\---

**BuscemiBoi**: So, I was talkin' with my newest gal pal Jolyne the other day, and we started thinking about how people somehow missed the overtones of YMCA back when it came out!  
**BuscemiBoi**: Like... for example, Jasper doesn't believe me when I tell her it's about blowin' guys at the YMCA!  
**HomeworldStrong**: What? The humans like to spell, what do you want from me?  
**snakeBytes**: oh you sweet summer child;  
**Stuck in the Middle**: Is it _specifically_ about blowing dudes? Never really paid too much attention to the lyrics.  
**BuscemiBoi**: Well, it's definitely about fucking guys at the gym! Like... hey, Mallek, can ya help a guy out and pull up the lyrics for me?  
**snakeBytes**: they are in your pms now;  
**BuscemiBoi**: Cheers, you're a real darling.  
**Stuck in the Middle**: I haven't been exposed to this before, but it's no secret that the Village People _may_ have been of a homosexual preference.  
**BuscemiBoi**: Dunno if you wanna make assumptions like that, just because they... have sex with guys.  
**snakeBytes**: just because they're constantly in the throes of sexual intercourse with those of the same gender;  
**BuscemiBoi**: Hohoho! Okay, here goes.  
**BuscemiBoi**: _"Young man, there's no need to feel down, I said young man, pick yourself off the ground, I said young man, 'cause you're in a new town, there's no need to be unhappy."_  
**BuscemiBoi**: _"Young man, there's a place you can go, I said young man, when you're short on your dough, you can stay there, and I'm sure you will find,_ **_many ways to have a good time."_**  
**snakeBytes**: heheh;  
**BuscemiBoi**: _"They have everything for you men to enjoy,_ **_you can hang out with all the boys!_** _It's fun to stay at the YMCA!"_ I'll fuckin' bet it is...  
**Stuck in the Middle**: Well, you can just hang out with the boys!  
**HomeworldStrong**: Yeah, it's like a... bro thing, is that the right way to say it?  
**BuscemiBoi**: _"You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal, you can do whatever you feel!"_  
**Stuck in the Middle**: Dang dude, this sounds like a fun place.  
**snakeBytes**: i'm 100% down to go to the ymca bro;  
**Stuck in the Middle**: Yeah! I can hang out with a bunch of guys and play Scrabble!  
**BuscemiBoi**: Okay, that one caught me off-guard. Good on ya, Vic, I like me some guys who can give me a good laugh.


End file.
